Hey, over There, Yeah, You: Video

See Hey, over there, Yeah, You

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Hey, over There, Yeah, You

Who raised you to think that a Carnival parade is your personal Frat Row party?

2014-03-01 12.55.14,

While bands passed, bands that had practiced, prepared, were there to do their best, you decided to play/broadcast music through mounted speakers on a porch: Pat Benatar, Steely Dan, KC & the Sunshine Band, which was probably the best choice out of the worst.

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Just because you have a porch, and baseball caps, white privilege and guffawing middle-aged guys in polos chuckling over your frat party manners doesn’t mean your obnoxious behavior doesn’t make all young white men of a certain kind and age look worse than they already make themselves look.

Get a clue, 2338 St. Charles Av.

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How to Go to Parades When You Feel Like Shit

Or wished you felt like shit so you’d feel a little better.

Yeah, I got pain and more pain and then some fatigue and other TMI stuff going on. But this is my favorite time of year. I love all of it, even getting pissy with people about their ladders and tables and chair blockades. I love that moment when the rider sees you and sees you see her/him and aims the beads/ball/doll/coconut/bling right to you. I love having a beer on St. Charles and bumming a cigarette and talking loud and impatiently waiting for the next parade to start. I love the shift on a kid’s face when she or he “gets” it and screams even louder and for specific things–that ball, that bear, that sword, those heart-shaped sunglasses.

So I have to strategize:

  • chair: I do not carry my own chair. Mister and The Girl Teen let me conserve my energy and save extra pain for later, when I get the maximum benefit/enjoyment at the same time as the pain [see last bullet].
  • timing and parade tracking apps: We’re close enough I can time my arrival to see the best part of the best parades. I won’t list the ones I skip or when I leave because that gets very complicated.
  • walking stick: Yeah, I use a walking stick. It’s better than a cane; leaning on a cane like that causes shoulder pain I don’t need.
  • mantra/guideline: stand for floats, sit for bands and dance whatchamacallems.

 

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Oh Yeah: Vegan King Cake

originally published January 6, 2010 and March 3, 2011 in slightly different form

I use a basic vegan sweet bread recipe. This one is a little complicated; any sweet bread recipe will probably do. The king cake is a multi-hour affair.

Basic Sweetened Bread Dough from Vegetarian Times Complete Cookbook by the Editors of Vegetarian Times [MacMillan, 1995].

[my additions/variations in brackets]

2 c. soymilk [plain, vanilla, or Silk Very Vanilla or almond milk]
1/2 c. + 1 tsp honey [or agave nectar or maple syrup]
2 Tbs lemon juice
2 tsp salt [I use a small dash]
1/2 c. vegetable oil
3/4 c. warm water
2 Tbs active dry yeast
about 6 c. bread flour and 1 c. whole-wheat flour

In a small saucepan, heat the soymilk just until bubbles form around the edges. Remove from the heat. Stir in oil, 1/2 c. honey, oil, lemon juice, and salt. Let cool. [I either put it in the fridge a while or only heat the milk to lukewarm so I can use it right away without killing the yeast in the next step.]

Place the warm water in a large mixing bowl and stir in the 1 tsp honey. Sprinkle in the yeast…and let dissolve. Pour in the soymilk mixture. Stir in 3 cups flour of choice. Beat 2 minutes with a wooden spoon or electric mixer. Add 1 more cup flour and beat 2 minutes more. Then work in the remaining 3 c. flour and knead on a lightly floured surface for 10 minutes, adding a more flour as needed. [I use Edward Espe Brown's kneading method: see The Tassajara Bread Book. You also may use more flour than listed. Once it is hard to stir, I turn the dough out and working more flour in while kneading.]

2014-02-27 12.14.34The dough should feel velvety smooth, not sticky. 

Place the dough in a lightly oiled bowl [I oil the bowl used for mixing, leaving the scraps of dough in the bowl].

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Cover with parchment paper and let rise in a warm place until doubled, about 1-1/2 hours.

2014-02-27 14.40.18Deflate the dough [440].

Divide the dough into approximate thirds. Roll or stretch each third into a long rope, as long as you can handle. Slightly flatten each rope, sprinkle on cinnamon sugar and fold them over or otherwise seal the dough ropes. Press the ends of all three together then, one rope at a time, do a loose or modified braiding then bring the braid or near-braid together in a ring. Press dough together to make a ring.

Line a baking tray with parchment paper. Place the ring on the parchment paper and let rise in a warm place for 50 or more minutes.

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Prepare the icing-glaze by making a simple vanilla icing [powdered sugar, some vanilla, soy milk or water]. Divide it into 3 parts and use food coloring to make gold, green and purple icing.

Preheat the oven to 350 degrees. Bake until light brown and done all the way through, which takes 30-45 minutes. To check for doneness, press to see if it is springy rather than doughy. With help, lift one side to check the bottom for doneness.

Once done, let cool according to how you want to apply your icing. I use the icing more as a glaze and drizzle it on while the cake is warm so it spreads and seeps into the cracks and folds.

2014-02-27 17.34.32

Enjoy.

2014-02-27 21.28.15

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Bit(ch) 11: Logical Fallacy ≠ Logical Tool

And reading comprehension is not the sole domain of the 1% or the political class. The opposite is more likely true. Example of Rand Paul’s logic:

John Q. is still unemployed after 9 months.
John Q. gets and has been getting unemployment benefits checks.
Employers claim they will not interview, much less hire, “the long-term unemployed.”
Therefore, John Q.’s unemployment benefits check is the reason he is unemployed.
Solution: Get rid of that check and John Q. will find a job lickety-split!

The problem here: a logical fallacy is not a tool of argument but an error in argument—error as in “wrong,” as in “mistake,” as in “read it again because that shit is janked up.” The fact that John or Jane Q. is getting an unemployment check and has been out of work longer than 6 months does not mean that the checks are why Jane is unemployed still. And companies illogically eschewing “the long-term unemployed” has nothing to do with whether John gets an unemployment check.

But Paul misreads my work to try to back up his argument. He says my paper, which shows that companies don’t want to hire people who have been unemployed for more than 6 months, proves his point about long-term benefits (though he confuses it with another paper I authored with William Dickens). How does he figure this? Well, Paul thinks that “extending long-term benefits will only hurt the chances of the unemployed in the job market,” because longer benefits will make them choose to stay unemployed longer—at which point firms won’t hire them. But just because companies discriminate against the long-term unemployed doesn’t mean long-term benefits are to blame. Paul might know that if he read beyond the first line of my paper’s abstract.

Our long-term unemployment trap has nothing to do with long-term benefits. Indeed, in a previous paper for the Federal Reserve Bank of Boston, I decomposed job openings for people who are and aren’t eligible for benefits. I found that up to half the increase in the unemployment rate relative to job openings was explained by job leavers, new entrants and re-entrants—people who can’t collect UI benefits.

There is no evidence in my study, and almost no evidence elsewhere, that cutting unemployment insurance would increase employment much at all. There is some evidence that it would lower the unemployment rate, but only because people would give up looking for work, and no longer count as unemployed. So eliminating benefits for 4.1 million long-term unemployed people might hide some of the problems with our labor market. But it would do nothing to cure them. It would only cut off a vital lifeline for the long-term unemployed and their families.

According to Paul, “caring about the unemployed doesn’t help unless it is linked to good policy.” Of course. But good policy requires more than a cursory or selective reading of the research on unemployment. [emphasis added]

Rand Ghayad. No, Rand Paul, There’s No Reason to Cut Unemployment Benefits, The Atlantic, 12/30/2013.

Rand Paul and Paul Ryan seem to me to have some reading comprehension limitations common to “libertarians” [the kind who scream "freedom!" and "out of my ___!" but want to decide whether I carry a pregnancy to term or use birth control or want emergency contraception because I got raped]. They see what they want to see rather than what is actually there. They’re like students I’ve had who thought if one clause in a 20-page paper supported some half-baked or odd idea they had that they had found all the “evidence” needed for that half-baked, odd idea. Seeing what you want to see in 1 part of the whole doesn’t mean you’ve found The Proof, that the rest of the 500 or 4000 or 10,000 words are just fluff, especially if you don’t agree with the rest of the words and concepts or don’t quite get the rest of the words and concepts, and it is hard for many people to understand the difference between not understanding or agreeing with something and its relative value or truth or clarity.

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Mama D Does Not Speak for Me

Gambit ?@The_Gambit 3m
Now Mama D in @LeeZurik live shot – “Now your job is to oppress black folk?” @FOX8NOLA pic.twitter.com/2kDn1VapPi

And she never did.

Nagin guilty in corruption trial [Gambit; a few paragraphs]

Live coverage: Ray Nagin convicted, guilty on 20 charges [nola.com live feed]

If you watched the live news reports from the federal court building after the sentencing, you probably heard Mama D yell “shit” and harass both the WWL and WDSU reporters. Why? How is this her loss? Nagin lied. Cheated. Essentially stole so he and his family would profit while Home Depot workers got shitty wages. It is a shame that he dragged his wife and kids through all this but they got their part of the largess so, no, I feel no sympathy. They had their money, their chances, their status. And they did what with it? Exactly.

I didn’t trust Nagin the first time he ran and I loathed him the second time, manipulating traumatized, and sometimes poorly educated, people to vote for him because his skin color made him our ally. Bullshit.

I hope he gets 20 years. He had his fun. Fuck him. Good motherfucking riddance.

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Bit(ch) 10: Make It Rain, Battle Royal

make it rain

When you’re in da [sic] club with a stack, and you throw the money up in the air at the strippers. The effect is that it seems to be raining money.

After Leroy finished trapping for the night, he went to the strip club, got 10 stacks, and made it rain inside the club the whole night.

by bert2 September 14, 2005

Urban Dictionary, accessed 2/4/14.

Lil Wayne makes it rain on South Beach: SandraRose.com

LUDACRIS Make It Rain A THOUSANDS At Strip Club [sic]Ludacris Makes It Rain In THOUSANDS In ATL Strip Club: ZhiphopCleveland.com

Then the M.C. called to us. “Come on up here boys and get your money.”

We ran forward to where the men laughed and talked in their chairs, waiting. Everyone seemed friendly now.

“There it is on the rug,” the man said. I saw the rug covered with coins of all dimensions and a few crumpled bills. But what excited me, scattered here and there, were the gold pieces.

“Boys, it’s all yours,” the man said. “You get all you grab.”

“That’s right, Sambo,” a blond man said, winking at me confidentially.

I trembled with excitement, forgetting my pain. I would get the gold and the bills, I thought. I would use both hands. I would throw my body against the boys nearest me to block them from the gold.

“Get down around the rug now,” the man commanded, “and don’t anyone touch it until I give the signal.”

“This ought to be good,” I heard.

As told, we got around the square rug on our knees. Slowly the man raised his freckled hand as we followed it upward with our eyes.

I heard, “These niggers look like they’re about to pray!”

Then, “Ready,” the man said. “Go!”

I lunged for a yellow coin lying on the blue design of the carpet, touching it and sending a surprised shriek to join those around me. I tried frantically to remove my hand but could not let go. A hot, violent force tore through my body, shaking me like a wet rat. The rug was electrified. The hair bristled up on my head as I shook myself free. My muscles jumped, my nerves jangled, writhed. But I saw that this was not stopping the other boys. Laughing in fear and embarrassment, some were holding back and scooping up the coins knocked off by the painful contortions of others. The men roared above us as we struggled.

“Pick it up, goddamnit, pick it up!” someone called like a bass-voiced parrot. “Go on, get it!”

I crawled rapidly around the floor, picking up the coins, trying to avoid the coppers and to get greenbacks and the gold. Ignoring the shock, by laughing, as I brushed the coins off quickly, I discovered that I could contain the electricity—a contradiction, but it works. Then the men began to push us onto the rug. Laughing embarrassedly, we struggled out of their hands and kept after the coins. We were all wet and slippery and hard to hold. Suddenly I saw a boy lifted into the air, glistening with sweat like a circus seat, and dropped, his wet back landing flush upon the charged rug, heard him yell and saw him literally dance upon his back, his elbows beating a frenzied tattoo upon the floor, his muscles twitching like the flesh of a horse stung by many flies. When be finally rolled off, his face was gray and no one stopped him when he ran from the floor amid booming laughter.

“Get the money,” the M.C. called. “That’s good hard American cash!”

And we snatched and grabbed, snatched and grabbed.

Ralph Ellison. Invisible Man. NY: Vintage/Random House, 1972. Print: 26-27.

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Closed!

Good. Because sand does not work.

CLOSED INDEFINITELY:

Lake Pontchartrain Causeway in both directions
Interstate-10 Twin Spans over Lake Pontchartrain (alternate routes are U.S. 90 and U.S. 11)
I-10 throughout the Greater New Orleans area (alternate route is U.S. 61/Airline Highway)
I-10 from New Orleans to Lafayette
La. 3139/Earhart Expressway (alternate route is U.S. 61/Airline Highway)
Interstate-610 in New Orleans
Elevated West Bank Expressway
Algiers-Chalmette and Algiers-Canal Street ferry service suspended
Crescent City Connection carpool lanes
Danziger Bridge open with one lane only
Judge Seeber/Claiborne Avenue Bridge open one lane only
Ted Hickey Bridge (Seabrook/Leon C. Simon Bridge) open one lane only

See all road closures by LSP here.

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And This Also Means

HBOglesby_1_25_2014

1130 Oretha Castle Haley Blvd. , Bed # E7

1130 Oretha Castle Haley Blvd. , Bed # E7

[New Orleans Mission is at 1129 Baronne.]

This does not mean that either of these men [see And This Means...?] is dangerous or destined to re-offend.

This notification will assist you and your family in avoiding situations that may make you vulnerable. Please remember that these people have served their sentences and are not wanted by the Sheriff’s office at this time. Citizen abuse of this information such as threats, intimidation, or harassment of these offenders is prohibited by law.

Each has served his sentence. For multiple reasons, they, like other registered offenders elsewhere in the US, have few living options and have been swept to the worst, most stressful—for them and those of us around them—”alternative.” Everyone needs options but what are they, and I and mine, supposed to do with this?

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And This Means…?

I know the email alerts from NOPD can be sketchy on information—though it’s usually bad typing or lack of syntax or an all caps floundering—but this is a first:

lonnie hines 1_2014

Does this mean he lives on this corner? Is that the address he registered? Is he homeless or is this a clerical error, typo, automated over-correction?

lonnie hines gmap

lonnie hines detailHow do I use this to ”assist you and your family in avoiding situations that may make you vulnerable”?

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