How to Go to Parades When You Feel Like Shit

Or wished you felt like shit so you’d feel a little better.

Yeah, I got pain and more pain and then some fatigue and other TMI stuff going on. But this is my favorite time of year. I love all of it, even getting pissy with people about their ladders and tables and chair blockades. I love that moment when the rider sees you and sees you see her/him and aims the beads/ball/doll/coconut/bling right to you. I love having a beer on St. Charles and bumming a cigarette and talking loud and impatiently waiting for the next parade to start. I love the shift on a kid’s face when she or he “gets” it and screams even louder and for specific things–that ball, that bear, that sword, those heart-shaped sunglasses.

So I have to strategize:

  • chair: I do not carry my own chair. Mister and The Girl Teen let me conserve my energy and save extra pain for later, when I get the maximum benefit/enjoyment at the same time as the pain [see last bullet].
  • timing and parade tracking apps: We’re close enough I can time my arrival to see the best part of the best parades. I won’t list the ones I skip or when I leave because that gets very complicated.
  • walking stick: Yeah, I use a walking stick. It’s better than a cane; leaning on a cane like that causes shoulder pain I don’t need.
  • mantra/guideline: stand for floats, sit for bands and dance whatchamacallems.


About G Bitch

A mad black woman in New Orleans.
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